I coached a Greek princess this week.

Hey,

It's Alex.

Let me share with you a story about how I realized the most important skill in the coaching industry.

This story isn't just about coaching - it's about all of us, and it can especially help people who are trying to achieve big things in life.

It was yesterday…

I thought I was coming to a regular theory class where I would learn new coaching tools that I could use in my client sessions.

However, the teachers prepared something unique.

They told us that today we were going to coach ancient Greek King Creon and Princess Antigone.

Both of them were exactly in the middle of a typical ancient conflict 🤷‍♂️.

Antigone had just lost her brother…

And Creon, the king, forbade anyone from burying Antigone's brother because, apparently, he was a traitor.

Creon declared: “Anyone who would bury Antigone's brother would die the same day.”

But the people of Greece begged Creon to allow Antigone to bury her brother.

So, Creon was in a conflict...

To allow the burial ritual of a traitor and look like a weak king or forbid it, risking a revolution in his city.

Tragedy...

Antigone, on the other hand, needed help with a painful decision. To choose between life without honoring the last moments of her brother or burying him and facing death.

Antigone’s emotional state was completely shattered. So much pain...

So we started to do our job as coaches…

To coach.

I feel sorry for my colleague, who was the first to coach the king.

When the king entered Zoom, he started to scream at her as if she were his slave. Screaming, threatening, and basically acting like a typical king.

For us, those watching the session with cameras off, it was like a funny show.

I couldn’t stop laughing.

But for my colleague, the coach, it wasn't funny at all.

She needed to help the king solve his inner conflict—a conflict between looking weak and facing a revolution. We're not just talking about some procrastination challenge here.

She needed to help him THINK, tap into his head, and see what lies behind typical solutions. All this while he was screaming and threatening to cut off her head.

Despite his arrogant, aggressive behavior, he needed help. It's a fact.

With Antigone, it was even harder...

If the king was aggressive but looking for a solution, Antigone was in such deep pain that she was on the floor, crying...

Desperately looking for someone to help her and save her from this tragedy. Someone who could solve the problem for her.

But that's the thing.

No one can solve it for her. Not even a coach.

A coach can guide her to a better solution that's already inside of her. But not to take responsibility and solve the issue for her.

The facilitators stopped the session in the middle and didn't allow us to come to any significant insights or new solutions for the tragedy. As this wasn't the lesson.

The lesson was bigger than just providing new insight for Creon the king or Antigone.

The lesson was that you never know what or with whom you are going to deal when you enter a coaching session.

And If you don't know how to hold yourself, your emotions, and the space in the session, you will fail.

You can learn all the coaching tools in the world, but if you can't read the room, understand, and feel what a person needs right now...

All your theory and tools are worth nothing.

After the workshop, one of the coaches said that in real life, this would not happen, and she could choose with whom she would work.

The facilitator smiled and said: "You never know. And if you coach enough people, you will find yourself in this uncomfortable emotional situation that will challenge you."

You can't run away from that.

This is THE SKILL that a good coach must develop. Not the procrastination PDF toolkit for their client that ChatGPT can make in 5 seconds.

When I heard my colleagues talk about how we can avoid these kinds of clients in real life, I thought about how many times in life we all avoid doing things just to avoid uncomfortable emotions.

Instead of writing emails —> using ChatGPT.

Instead of selling face to face —> sending a message.

Instead of taking a risk and committing to some new project —> looking for a safe and stable job.

The real superpower inside all of us that we should develop is to NOTICE when these moments are happening.

WHEN and WHY exactly are we running away from growth and new possibilities?

When exactly are we creating a story in our heads: "Nah, this is not a good idea… It’s better not to try?"

If you can notice this moment of "running away," you can make better, more conscious decisions.

Decisions that will help you to get what you want in your life.

It's possible to learn that skill — noticing when you run away — especially if you practice meditation, which helps to refocus your brain.

But for most of us, it's hard. It’s hard even to commit to daily meditation.

So I can suggest either starting to meditate or working with a coach who will help you find those moments when you sabotage your own better future without even realizing it.

I'm reminding you that I still have a spot for 1:1 Ontological Coaching with me.

Coaching that can help get rid of:

• Ineffective beliefs.

• Self-sabotaging behaviors.

• Stuck mode in business or life.

And, of course, strategies, toolkits, and much more…

Alex